mianhae

assalamualaikum..

today i am gonna post about trust..

yeah..it is about trust

*but the title is mianhae = sorry

why ?

because i am really really sorry 

for those outside there

if i don't tell what is on my mind

if i don't really tell my opinion

it is just not about i am not interested to tell them

but i have no guts to do so

well i had a horrible experience during my childhood

it happened around aged twelve

to be precise before i sat for UPSR

well , my ex-BESTFRIEND back stabbed me at that time

i thought i can count on her but then she did that to me

till i have no friends at all

* poor me..:(

yet alhamdulillah i managed score well in that exam

back then , i've learnt a very expensive lesson..

DON'T YOU EVER TRUST PEOPLE EASILY !

the incident gave a big impact to me

it is so hard for me to express what lies inside my mind towards people

i have no guts to tell them

i am too scare if that incident could happen again

as in Malay says

menjadi seorang yang menyimpan perasaan sorang sorang

a.k.a telan je ape yang berlaku

it is not that i wanna isolate myself but 

I AM JUST TOO SCARE

i know what happens around me but don't think that i don't know anything

it is just i pretend to not know

time by time i learn to mengeluarkan-apa-yang-dipendam

ye lah kan..pendam lama lama pun tak elok jugak

nanti meletup makin parah

* but my boiling point is when i cry 

i will cry if i can't endure something that i've 'pendam' for a very long time

and i will cry too if my patience cross over the limits

once again , i am so sorry if i can't tell you anything

i have to get my strength back

thanks to you ; for turned me like this

p/s : crying again remembered that incident