Monday, May 16, 2011

mianhae

assalamualaikum..
today i am gonna post about trust..
yeah..it is about trust
*but the title is mianhae = sorry
why ?
because i am really really sorry 
for those outside there
if i don't tell what is on my mind
if i don't really tell my opinion
it is just not about i am not interested to tell them
but i have no guts to do so
well i had a horrible experience during my childhood
it happened around aged twelve
to be precise before i sat for UPSR
well , my ex-BESTFRIEND back stabbed me at that time
i thought i can count on her but then she did that to me
till i have no friends at all
* poor me..:(
yet alhamdulillah i managed score well in that exam
back then , i've learnt a very expensive lesson..
DON'T YOU EVER TRUST PEOPLE EASILY !
the incident gave a big impact to me
it is so hard for me to express what lies inside my mind towards people
i have no guts to tell them
i am too scare if that incident could happen again
as in Malay says
menjadi seorang yang menyimpan perasaan sorang sorang
a.k.a telan je ape yang berlaku
it is not that i wanna isolate myself but 
I AM JUST TOO SCARE
i know what happens around me but don't think that i don't know anything
it is just i pretend to not know
time by time i learn to mengeluarkan-apa-yang-dipendam
ye lah kan..pendam lama lama pun tak elok jugak
nanti meletup makin parah
* but my boiling point is when i cry 
i will cry if i can't endure something that i've 'pendam' for a very long time
and i will cry too if my patience cross over the limits
once again , i am so sorry if i can't tell you anything
i have to get my strength back
thanks to you ; for turned me like this

p/s : crying again remembered that incident
www.tips-fb.com

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